I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
