ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
