I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
