I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
4 words: hood of his car
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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