hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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