16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
