That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
