just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize