K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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