if only i could text you this smell
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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