Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
