I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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