I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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