ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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