Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
