Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
