just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
