So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The air taste purple.
Randomize
