I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
