She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
