You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
