Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
