i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
