dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
