party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize