just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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