Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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