At least make sure they are 18
Why
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
