Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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