What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he fucked my hip out of place.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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