woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have feelings that need drinking.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
