wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
