Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
