Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
