they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
