stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
