I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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