Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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