Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
