I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
