just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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