last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
