Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
