Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
