I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
