i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
