I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
