do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
