Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
