It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
