Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
