somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
