We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
