can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize