I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
