Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
