Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
