Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
