Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
