I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
