Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
