I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
