I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
